Have you ever been amazed at how spectacularly bad and off-target one's assumptions can be ? ...
You know, things never turning out quite the way you would like them to be.... In fact, you would expect something and it turns out to be so so far out opposite that you are just speechless...
This incident happened a couple of days ago.... Let me introduce you to a few key players -
a) TUSBLIW - The Ugliest Slimmiest Black Lizard In the World - really slimy, really black, really ugly and the worst of it all - it decides to grace my room with its presence...
b) Vishal : Huge giant of a guy... all macho... the typical alpa-male... The kinds who makes heads at a pub turn when he would enter...Oh! btw, he is 6ft 2 inches tall and has the size of biceps equivalent to size of my face!!
c) Me : happy in my own world until pricked out my dreamy existence by the presence of TUSBLIW
So, here I was - lazy Wednesday afternoon... about to start my 2nd movie of the day when I see TUSBLIW take advantage of the open door and quickly enters the room... At the same time, I make a quick jump on top of my bed .... and start screaming for help.... You would think I would be more manly about the whole affair... I had thought the same about it... but this was no ordinary lizard- it had freaky glow-in-the-dark eyeballs!!!
Hearing my screaming- Vishal, the friendly giant next door, decides to heed my call....
"Yo Dude!!... Wassup ? Whats with the screaming on the bed for ? Did you get a shortlist from Mckinsey ??? "
" No!!! ... TTTttthere isssss ssssometttthing there....." I said, trembling... my quivering hand points out ...
"Dude.. Whats there ? " he asks... Now he looks behind the door...
I have seen many weird things in life.... (Stochastic Finance classes, McKinsey Shortlists, my recruitment letter... etc etc)
I have heard many weird things in life .... ( Desperate Class Participation in 0.25 credit courses, Every CP by the legends of Dorm Debaees...etc etc)
But... never have I seen and heard what happened next.... I saw Vishal fly !!! literally fly backwards, straight to the bed... it was as if I was watching one of those world famous Rajnikanth movies where he sends goons flying by just blowing at them.... This was exactly how it was... In a less than microsecond, Vishal boy was on standing on the bed, screaming absurdities in a strange blend of English, Tamil and some language I am convinced that is not from this planet...
So - imagine my plight... At this point - the following things were going thru my head
a) What to do if the bed collapses ? Where do run next ?
b) Whom to call for help now ?
Meanwhile, TUBSLIW was paying no attention to two screaming guys trying their best to scare it away...
At that precise moment- Sevaram, the friendly dorm caretaker enters the room... Looking at us, He had the second-most weirdest expression on his face I ever seen ... ( The most weirdest expression I have ever gotten is when I tried to answer a question asked by my Micro Eco prof)
It must have taken Sevaram a moment to register two dudes screaming and jumping on the bed., waving crazily in mid-air... He peeks in... and finally the WTF expression on his face gives way to Oh!!! ahaaa!!! expression...
It took Sevaram 30 seconds, a broomstick and deft legwork to get TUBSLIW out of the room... while two of us just stared at him...
I think sometimes, we are woefully inadequate for surviving. We have no life-skills of anysort.. stuff like cooking (edible) food, fixing a leaky water tap, using a hammer and nails to put a photoframe or changing the socket.... stuff like that... Sure, we may learning it when there is a need to... but still it was a humbling experience to depend on another person to ward off a lizard.... Sissies we are...
Darn!!!
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