The Wimwi Reports

Adventures in Dorm of Gentlemen...

2010-03-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been amazed at how spectacularly bad and off-target one's assumptions can be ? ...

You know, things never turning out quite the way you would like them to be.... In fact, you would expect something and it turns out to be so so far out opposite that you are just speechless...

This incident happened a couple of days ago.... Let me introduce you to a few key players -

a) TUSBLIW - The Ugliest Slimmiest Black Lizard In the World - really slimy, really black, really ugly and the worst of it all - it decides to grace my room with its presence...

b) Vishal : Huge giant of a guy... all macho... the typical alpa-male... The kinds who makes heads at a pub turn when he would enter...Oh! btw, he is 6ft 2 inches tall and has the size of biceps equivalent to size of my face!!

c) Me : happy in my own world until pricked out my dreamy existence by the presence of TUSBLIW

So, here I was - lazy Wednesday afternoon... about to start my 2nd movie of the day when I see TUSBLIW take advantage of the open door and quickly enters the room... At the same time, I make a quick jump on top of my bed .... and start screaming for help.... You would think I would be more manly about the whole affair... I had thought the same about it... but this was no ordinary lizard- it had freaky glow-in-the-dark eyeballs!!!

Hearing my screaming- Vishal, the friendly giant next door, decides to heed my call....

"Yo Dude!!... Wassup ? Whats with the screaming on the bed for ? Did you get a shortlist from Mckinsey ??? "

" No!!! ... TTTttthere isssss ssssometttthing there....." I said, trembling... my quivering hand points out ...

"Dude.. Whats there ? " he asks... Now he looks behind the door...

I have seen many weird things in life.... (Stochastic Finance classes, McKinsey Shortlists, my recruitment letter... etc etc)

I have heard many weird things in life .... ( Desperate Class Participation in 0.25 credit courses, Every CP by the legends of Dorm Debaees...etc etc)

But... never have I seen and heard what happened next.... I saw Vishal fly !!! literally fly backwards, straight to the bed... it was as if I was watching one of those world famous Rajnikanth movies where he sends goons flying by just blowing at them.... This was exactly how it was... In a less than microsecond, Vishal boy was on standing on the bed, screaming absurdities in a strange blend of English, Tamil and some language I am convinced that is not from this planet...

So - imagine my plight... At this point - the following things were going thru my head

a) What to do if the bed collapses ? Where do run next ?

b) Whom to call for help now ?

Meanwhile, TUBSLIW was paying no attention to two screaming guys trying their best to scare it away...

At that precise moment- Sevaram, the friendly dorm caretaker enters the room... Looking at us, He had the second-most weirdest expression on his face I ever seen ... ( The most weirdest expression I have ever gotten is when I tried to answer a question asked by my Micro Eco prof)

It must have taken Sevaram a moment to register two dudes screaming and jumping on the bed., waving crazily in mid-air... He peeks in... and finally the WTF expression on his face gives way to Oh!!! ahaaa!!! expression...

It took Sevaram 30 seconds, a broomstick and deft legwork to get TUBSLIW out of the room... while two of us just stared at him...

I think sometimes, we are woefully inadequate for surviving. We have no life-skills of anysort.. stuff like cooking (edible) food, fixing a leaky water tap, using a hammer and nails to put a photoframe or changing the socket.... stuff like that... Sure, we may learning it when there is a need to... but still it was a humbling experience to depend on another person to ward off a lizard.... Sissies we are...

Darn!!!

The 8:43 am Effect...

2010-03-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Oh well...

Had a very interesting day today... read along ...

Faccha at 8.43 am

Holy Jesus!! I am dead... I am screwed.... Where the hell are my jeans... The shirt smells ok.. I am forgetting something... Oh Shit!!.. where is the casemat ???... I swear I was reading it yesterday night... or was it the day before... Darn!!!... I am gonna be late...That's it... I gibbup!!...

Takes one last look under the bed, finds his OM casemat, rushes out grabbing the Axe Effect deodorant. The faccha now does what he has trained for - Multitasking. While jumping down the stairs, buttoning up his shirt, buckling his belt, putting his mobile phone in the silent mode and trying to spray the Deo - all this at the same time .... Oh!!.. he is doing all this with holding the biblical OM casemat..

Meanwhile,... at precisely the same time ..

a Tuccha at 8.43 am

Holy Jesus!! I am dead... I am screwed.... Where the hell are my jeans... The shirt smells ok.. I am forgetting something... Oh Shit!!.. where is my glass ???... I swear I was drinking from it yesterday night... or was it the day before... Darn!!!... Why is it so bloody bright ??...That's it... I gibbup!!...
Takes one last look under the bed, finds his glass.... and now wonders two things
a) Why, in the holy name of the Lord, is he awake at 8.43 am ??
b) Why do dorms smell so nice in the mornings ?

At this point, the Tuccha's brain goes into a mental hibernation mode... At first, he tries to figure out if its worth figuring out the answers to what he was wondering about. By this time, other distractions creep in such as the Economic Times, the bhajan that is blaring from one of the fellow tuccha's room since 4 am and the eternally golden question -
I think I should go back to sleep.... Should I ?
This question is quickly resolved by opening up the internal IM Dbab. He goes to the Mess NB and clicks on the Menu for 15th Mar, Monday - Posted by JhanDhoo
"
Breakfast
Onion Poha
Namkeen
Lime Juice
mix fruit
Regular Menu"

....and soon the tuccha is back cozily tucking himself back in his nice cot... Multitasking - Refreshing the playlist on his Winamp player, redoing and clearing his bed, showing the empty Antiquity Blue bottles out of his room all this with just one hand
....and reading the Economic Times as well....

Now... if only I knew why is it that the dorm stank when I was a faccha and now it smells of the Axe Effect .... I wonder why ??!!!

amreeekaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

2009-09-05T23:20:00.000-07:00

Just landed in the land of opportunities...
so much to share ..

Looking at the rigor of the american MBA systems, right now I'm feeling woefully inadequate with the training and the education I have recieved over the last one year at WIMWI..

But I will only write more abt my experiences if I get more than 7 replies to this post..
I have a sneeky feeling that I may be the only one reading my own posts..

hmmm.....

Coldcalled on SuVar

2009-08-04T01:44:00.000-07:00

Its exam time here at WIMWI...
but not for the beloved tuchhas.. its exam time for the Facchas..
There is a long-standing ritual that's followed at WIMWI..
A few dorms still actively participate in it..
All the 15-20 dorm seniors from a particular dorm will get together and scream the almost national slogan of WIMWI- 3 words.. but it one that reverberates right thru the spines of the innocent facchas..
its "MUGGO FACCHO MUGGO"....

There are several such instances like these... but none of these compare to the absurdities one gets to witness in the classrooms...
Our classrooms are designed amphitheatre style.. with name-tags in front of the students..
Now these name-tags are easily amenable to folding and twisting leading to complete mutilation of the original names..
Thus,
an Arvind Kumar Meena becomes a KaMeena or
or a Reena L. Deepak becomes a ReeL. Deep ... you get the drift..

Now imagine the plight of the professors who are into cold calling... Cold calling is the ultimate weapon used against the poor students who didn't get time off from watching movies or playing the latest Empire series....

Thus, the other day, a Prof. was holding fort on the virtues of Open economic transactions when he coldcalled SuVar ( Sumeet Varma) on a question...
The fun gets multiplied simply because poor li'l Sumeet Varma has positively no clue that some pranskster has twisted his name to SuVar... thus, the class is laughing at SuVar while SuVar has no clue whats going on and joins the laughter ... leading to more laughter from the class.. until some kind soul sitting ahead of the Sumeet points out the unfortunate-ness thats been inflicted on him ... getting Cold Called on SuVar..

Sometimes, the profs are not spared either.. Prof. Asha wants to say good work to Rahul Shah .. but ends up saying "good work ASha".... leading to absolute discomfort for the Prof and an expression of dismay on Rahul's face...

Such is life.... What's in a name ? ... well, quite a lot... sometimes...

Drivers, ReStrat your engines...

2009-07-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yes.. Yes... Mea Culpa...
Guilty as charged...
For not talking about Chaos 2009 when Pandit Hariprasad Chaurasia was inspired by Ol'Groucho boy - somewhere along the lines of having perfect evenings before but this not being one of them...
What a co-incidence - the crowd felt the same... Talk about being one with the audience...

For not talking about the summers at the world's biggest FMCG company...where all that Kotler spoke about was actually practised.... where women actually decide which Gilette is the best fit for you...

For not talking about the life that went by in between ....It's been the end of an eventful year... so much to learn ... so many times I've felt handicapped because what I learnt was not enough... for the innumerable times you see that glint in the eyes of people when you talk about your college...

For not talking about the most innovative abuses hurled on LKP when you drop a sitter while playing frisbee....

Well.. all is not lost.... The Fachhas are here... The breeze is lovely... The Fraudness is rampant...
The Sloth returns...

How many times ... ?

2009-02-14T05:36:00.000-08:00

At WIMWI...

How many times have you promised to study more regularly once these exams got over ?
How many times have you wished you had studied before ? If only to appreciate the subject better ...
How many times have you made timetables and then forgotten all about it and had fun instead ?
How many times have you felt guilty afterwards ?
How many times have you liked a song so much that it keeps playing in your head while you are trying to appear for an exam ?
How many times have you fallen in love with someone you can't be with ?
How many times have you wished that you could become slimmer ?
How many times have you wished that you could be somewhere else ... Anywhere but in the boring lecture at 8.45 in the morning ?
How many times have you wished you could be better at sports or at dancing ? ...
....And they said that life got easier once you got in here !!!

A Question of Faith

2009-02-09T10:08:00.000-08:00

There is this itch... gnawing at us... this quiet restlessness...
This itch .... this insatiable feeling that life has more to it...
This irritating feeling that there is more to me than writing code or talking to clients...
This urge to make things happen...it gets difficult to live with Status Quo ...

Everyday, you will read stories in awe of IIM A students and Faculty diving into untested waters... Why do we do this ? ....
They say, sometimes the flapping of a butterfly's wings can create rainstorms halfway across the world..Sometimes, the things we do at IIM A scare us... but if we don't flap our wings, how will we move ahead ? ...

The placement sessions are starting...The eyes of the world ... students from every nook and corner of the country... the best talent of the country is watching us....
Everything that has meant anything finally culminates in these few hours of destiny....
and that is exactly how a nation of young students gets duped ... simply cos this is not the end...
this is the beginning....just a door.. a platform...an opportunity...
I know that there are debts to pay off...I understand that feeling of being left in the lurch..
The world is watching us...the media will slam us... HRD ministries will try to stifle us... but I know this - Falling down is not defeat, staying down is...I only have the rhetorics...not the answers...

In time, we will know who stood up... and who gave up... To the victor go the spoils....
Ultimately, all that separates those who stood out from others is their absolute faith in themselves..it is a question of faith and the power to ask yourself, when no one else is watching - "WHAT'S AHEAD ?"....

Return of the Son

2009-01-25T11:52:00.000-08:00

The prodigal son returns...

It's been a long time since I wandered into these portals... There will be many who would have been a trifle upset had they bothered to read about my misadventures in the first place.. but the truth must be told... and so here i am.. with a new set of stories and foot-in-the-mouths...

The first things that students miss when they reach wimwi, is sleep... And no, it is not because we are studying all the time .. rather quite the contrary... we don't study when we are supposed to... we will soak up all the latest gossip on campus, discuss the current industry happenings threadbare for a couple of hours and finish a couple of episodes of Prison Break and finally we will hit the books.. obviously the stress levels are therefore high...
It is not for nothing that this place teaches us JIT- everything is always Just-in-time... assignments, reports , everything is given at the last possible minute... Each time, after every adventure, I solemnly promise - next time, I will put in a 24 hour buffer for my WAC report...
What is fascinating to watch is how those buffers wear down and are completely annihilated when faced with deadlines...

This strange thing happened with me the other day... We have study groups; six of us in one group and we work on the various assignements given by Profs... one such assignment was the study of how technology changed the way banks do business...
We were called to present the finding of two of our group members...Often ,what happens in such situations is that one person has done the actual work and another is asked to present.. This can sometimes lead to hilarious situations...The essence is to last 5 mins that are allotted... This is what followed :
Groupie1 : We have analysed the way technology affects loans processes of banks... We take a typical case.. When we want a loan, we first go to the bank and they give us a form which we have to fill.. On this form, we have to give details such as our name, our father's name , our date of birth, our address...

By this time, the class realises what has happened.. They saw that we were only five of us.. We got locked in such a situation, where the guy who did the actual work was up so late working on the assignment that he ended up missing the class .. and since none of us had any idea of what to say, we had to resort to such filibustering tactics.. we would have gotten away with it too had the class not resorted to wild thumping and applauding groupie1's attempt to save us from disaster...
The Prof responds:
" I can guarantee you that all of us know what is there in a bank form, and we are not interested in knowing what you know... Could you pray please proceed ? "

Groupie1 : Ok, so once you have filled the form, you submit it to the loan officer and from there, the file and application is passed to a loan committee and this committee has to verify all the details filled in the form. They do this either by calling our references or by checking if we are bonafide students... They have other techniques as well...

At this point, the class goes beserk.... Groupie 1 tries his best to keep a straight face, the other three groupies have no idea what in the lord's name is going on.. and I am staring faraway, lost in space.. praying for the nightmare to get over ....

The third term has started.. This term is filled with group oriented activities.. essentially we focus on organisational aspects of a company, and its HR related issues..
At the same time, new traditions have been opened up to us.. There are have been elections for the Student Activity Council - this holds significance as this group of elected 12 guys will ensure our well-being for the next year.. from mess food to placements to movie stocks.. these 12 guys take on huge responsiblities next year...

I am ending with this conversation that happened last week..

Prof : So Rohit, are you awake ?
Rohit (dazed) : Yes sir..
Prof : Good, tell the class what you have learnt in our last class..
Rohit : Sir... in the last class, we studied production quanties and how they varied with costs..
Prof : How did we do that ?
Rohit : Sir, through ...uh... through curves..
Prof: Hmm.. what kind of curves.. ?
Rohit ( Makes gestures with his hands) : Sir, these curves would come down and then go up .. (he is trying to say that the graph has a minima but ends up on a different plane)
Prof: Rohit, we understand your state of mind... maybe you could say "graphs" !!!
Rohit ( goes red) : Yes..urg.. sir..
Prof : So where did we get this data from ?
Rohit (silent and trembling a bit)
Prof : Rohit, answer...
Rohit (very very reluctanly and with an expression of knowing that doom is near) : Sir, we got these from the FIGURES...

Class goes wild and starts thumping the desks.. Profs looks incredulous and walks away...

Such are the adventures of life....

The Return- "Lehman(y) Snickets"

2008-10-01T09:29:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I have written something here.. A lot has happened since then...
(Well..at least for Lehman (Bang)Bros and Merrill Lynched!!.. )

A lot of ink and time has gone in writing about and reading how the global scenarios have affected us at IIMA..and rightly so - an entire business function - Investment Banking is on the verge of obliteration!!..and companies in that field are huge recruiters of talent at WIMWI..
but it's all cool... this place wouldnt be what this place is, if a few companies going bust would affect it colossally...

What bugs me these days is this - I met a couple of students from other B schools.. A common friend introduced us.. He said - "Oh. meet these guys- They are IIM A " ( Mind it- not "these guys are from IIM A" but " these guys ARE IIM A" ) ..
and suddenly- the room is filled with EXPECTATIONS!!..it was as if I am expected to just open my mouth and suddenly all would be right with the world!!...

Wherever we go.. our brand precedes us ..we arrive - we are greeted with superhuman expectations... and you ought to see the disappointment on their faces when they discover that we are really normal human beings- replete with Foot-in-the-mouth tendencies AND a normal Sense of Humour..
(some of them were suprised that we could appreciate a good joke too!!) ..

The piss off is that we cant compete with superhuman expectations.. if we try - we get stuff like " What !!.. you guys ARE IIMA ..this fourier analysis on quantum generated business reports should be like a cakewalk for you!!" ... (yeah.. maybe we should even start running the RBI and the Fed !!)

And if we dont bother, we are labelled as arrogant suckers... Fantastic, na ?

Had gone to a local radio station... it was interesting to see how even a small radio station that caters to just a few lakhs takes its branding so seriously.. had an intense session on Branding, Consumer preferences and a lot of other stuff which I should have taken notes on... (not my fault- the RJ was hot !! )

Today- it was a special day - every class has its SLEEPER's Club- it is an honour to be a member of this club- Members often take on tremendous risks and sleep off in the class..
Apart from risk taking, members need to be quick thinkers- We are often woken rudely out of our beautiful slumber and asked questions -difficult specific questions pertaining to the case we are studying at that point...
and mind you, the guy was asleep at that point.. so the chances that he had not even heard the question are pretty high...
This where the member's skill kicks in.. sample this -

Case 1
Prof: " A***, so do you think that Nirmal Rayons should double its capacity ? "
A*** (startled outta his brains) : " Uh... Sir.. this is ...uh ... IT DEPENDS !!!"
Prof : Good..Morning!!..join consultancy!!

Case 2
Prof : "R***, what is your opinion about the current situation of Smokey Valley ? "
R*** (Kicked into consciousness by his concerned neighbour) : " I...I ..think...uh..
Prof : "Hurry..I havent got whole day"
R*** : "Sir, I believe that Smokey Valley is in bad shape"
Prof: "Why? "
R*** : "Otherwise, we wouldnt be discussing this case!!"

The difference between a Sleeper Cell Member and a normal student at WIMWI is this-
Sleeper Cell Members are just a bit more smarter and often luckier if they are not caught!!...
Our President of the Sleeper Cell got caught THRICE in THREE lectures.. a first in the history of either WIMWI or Sleeper Cell!!!

..going over to his dorm for an emergency meeting !!.. We are selecting a new President!!

Vastrapur Main Vastra haran!!!- its that kind of a year

2008-08-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

It's 1.19 am on the clock in the classroom… The last four days have been a whirlwind of activities... There are a few of us here, who haven’t gone to their rooms for over two days… a few of us have not had a morsel of food in the last 48 hours…. And right now after our last performance, I see my batchmates have to clean the classroom… (We will be penalized otherwise... hehe)…Yet, strangely, it doesn’t feel that bad…You need to see the look on some of their faces – there is a strange joy… I think – we are all a bit neurotic to devote our sleep, our food, our thoughts, and more importantly our holidays (Trust me – at IIMA, holidays are a luxury)… for what? … For some concept that was totally alien to us 4 days ago...- I present to you – T-Nites… and more importantly- T-Nites and Section B….. It is a love story – a love story that apparently has taken 20 years... B’s Saal Baad…

So what the hell is T-nites? … T-nites are basically a show put on by the first yearites... for the second yearites- Four days spread over intense competition, bizarre themes, crazy section names… and lot of fun…

This is what happens – We have four sections – A, B, C, D and there is the PGPX..section X… so we have 5 sections competeting for one coveted prize – The Talent Nite Trophy.. At WIMWI, everyone is good at writing exams, mugging stuff, doing everything acad oriented- but the thing at this place – highest respect is reserved for those who excel outside the classroom- for those who believe that life has something more to offer than just CG and marksI am section B... we named our section Bichoos... the others were - Absoluts, C'kanders, Danga Bol and Xtrados- for A,C,D and X sections..

The four days were really fun.. people say that section B ke bacche are 'give-up'... that is we dont even put in a fight..
I remember our senior telling us that
" Main yeh toh nahi bol sakta , ki jeetna kaisa lagta hai...
Lekin main yeh bol sakta hu , ki haarna kaisa lagta hai.."

And from that point onwards, it was like a few of us decided, that here was a chance to create history...it wasn't that the most talented class would win .. but it was more like - the most "enthu" wala class will win...

The four days were hectic.. I had to go to mumbai in between for the documents and certificates...
The day i came back - I found that we had done miserably- we started well on the first day.. then on the second day, I left ..and on the third day when i returned - i found we were last on day 2... and lot of us had started given up hope.. I think I perform really well when everyone around me is tense/depressed... so I was all super Enthu.. started motivating the people around me... was positive in terms of my body language.. was ok...you learn to find out who can work ..and those who can but won't..

End of day 3 - we were back in the game !! not that people around here would admit it ..but deep down i know that i was at least responsible for some of the winnings.. The next two days were high -profile and required a lot of class participation - there was a special CLASS ACT - wherein the points given to a class depended on the number of the students turning up in the class act.. it was fun..

Then there was a One act play - wherein we put up a play of the pandavas losing the game to kauravas... it was fun ...
there were some classic lines which were like
"Vastrapur main Vastra haran !!!"

Then.. Lord krishna comes to save Draupadi from the the saree unwrapping and finds draupadi is crying .. so Krishna asks
"Arre!! Main toh theek time pe aaya - 12 baje bola tha .. na !! "
and Draupadi says
"Kya Krishna- idhar 12 pm ki koi value nahi .. deadline toh 11.59.59 ki thi!!!"

the whole crowd went mad!!!

It went like for the last day... on the last day.. we had just exceeded everyone's expectations... tucchas would go like - "This is section B..? "

We are lucky that in our section ...we have had great characters - people who actually dont take themselves seriously.. and when it comes to the final analysis - the Juice was Worth the Squeeze..
....
P.S : It was B's saal ... and the day we won - India won its gold at Olympics.. i guess it's that kind of a year...

Naach Meri Jaan... NAMED !!!

2008-07-14T13:22:00.001-07:00

For an institution, that been around for half a century, there are bound to be certain traditions...and certain rituals...
Ladies and Gentlemen... Welcome to the Dorm Name Culture...
the dorm name culture has been around for more than 4 decades.. Rest assured, that Harsha Bhogale, KV Kamath and so many others-all have been through this ritual...
Every single IIMA student is given a dorm name by his dorm mates.. This is a way of interacting with the seniors... and bonding with them.. simply because - from this day forth, till your last dying breath, you will have this dorm name with you... It is part and parcel of being a WIMWIan... so accept it...

So, how does one go about getting a dorm name... There are 24 dorms on campus.. all of which have evolved their own dorm culture and dorm naming ceremonies.. Some dorms have a tradition where all the fachas put up a skit ... some dorms ask the the fachas to submit a 2 page report filled with original content.. The more saucy , the better... and some dorms have story telling sessions... So it is a mixed bag...

The trick is to get a decent dorm name... something your mom will not blush while addressing you with... I mean, no self-respecting girl would like to call her boyfriend as 'Dildo' or 'Brasak'...
But Alas... the sadists Tuchas that they are... they will not let us live in peace...
Anyways... I had very high hopes of getting a decent name... ok!! I was not looking at being called "Jock", "Guru", "Nawab" ... ( would have been nice though)....
Anything that would not raise eyebrows ....
With such noble intentions , I went to the dorm meets... Through a series of interactions at these dorm meetings.. the name is concocted....

After cleansing myself of all my past sins, and taking a vow of allegiance to my dorm... I was given the proud name of "Mujra"....
(10 millions words in the universe... and I end up being called a brothel!!!... There goes my sex appeal...).. I can already see my future next year- An imaginary conversation with a hot fachi..
She says :"Hi.. I am a super hot girl in PGP1... "
I say : "Hi.. I am Mujra !!!" ....
(sigh......)

Quizzzzzed...

2008-07-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

At IIMA, quizzes are an integral part of life... Every subject has quizzes... Well, you may think-" blah!!..what's the big deal ? " ... I personally feel the same way about it..
So, this is what happens.. Quizzes are never announced before hand. There are surprise quizzes..Right outside the mess, there is a notice board...
At precisely, 13.30, some kind soul will come to the notice board and put up the following
"All PGP1 - Please note -there shall be a Maths/MANAC/any subject quiz scheduled today at 2.30 pm in the respective classrooms. Students are requested to be seated in their seats by 2.25 pm" ...

So, you will often find all fachas enter the mess with a feeling of anticipation, dread and hope...
The Tuchas, on the other hand, also enter with similar feelings - except the dread part..
They WANT the fachas to have quizzes... Of course, we fachas, can do quite well without them..

What follows in the mess , is quite an interesting sight.. once the quiz is declared ... the Tuchas do a little jig...and start screaming "Muggo Facho !! Muggo !!" ...
The fachas started banging their steel glasses and plates to drown out the chants...
This is the place where one can see synchronised cacophony in motion...

The quizzes suffer from a CAT hungover...lots of questions, very little time to solve and negative marking and relative grading.. what a perfect recipe for disaster..!!
Last year, there were a few quizzes, where not attempting a single question would have gotten one a C grade...!!! Thanks to the negative marking and relative grading..many students ended with a negative mark... thus, the guy who didnt know anything was better off !!!... That's life ...

Eventually.. the quizzes start ruling our lives... I am ending this part with two quotes ..
" It is not the quiz which kills you.... It is the FEAR of the quiz that gets you... " -OralB (2008)
"Eventually, it is not a question of IF you will give up or not... but a question of WHEN you will give up ... " -Jhappi (2008)

A Crazy W(h)ac-ked day

2008-07-09T13:47:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce you to Written Analysis of Case.. lovingly called WAC... no IIM A's life is complete without this wonderful experience...
This is what happens in brief- we are given a case. The student has to study the case thoroughly.
and then prepare a written solution to it. This usually comprises 4-5 pages and is expected to be a professional report complete with Situation Analysis, Options , How to evaluate those Options , Final Recommendation , Contingency plans, references... the works...

What follows is the chronology of the last 24 hours before a WAC submission :-
1320 : Class gets over. PGP1 runs to rooms/mess.
1330 : Maths Quiz announced.(This is an unprecedented event - a quiz in the FIRST week and that too - a WAC week !!) . Quiz will start at 14.30 hrs
15.30 : PGP1 come back to rooms... what a fantastic way to begin.
16.00 : I start my report writing..
The next 10 hrs goes in writing, surfing the net for inputs, dinner, ATP (associated time pass).
02.30 : I show my final draft to a couple of PGP2 seniors for their input. One started abusing me for writing a newspaper report !! and the other couldn't give much input cos he was too busy laughing his guts out as he read my report...(sigh!! ..and I had hoped for a nice 6 hr sleep)
So, after completing degrading my writing skills, my analytical skills, my formatting skills, (intermittently, they were kind enough to focus away from the report and started abusing me) and in general- all my skills, I sat down again to re-write my WAC report.

On my way back to my room, I bumped into a familiar face- my batch mate.. He kinda looked smug. This is never a good sign.. A facha has this kind of look only in cases- a) He has finished all the home works/assignments and maybe even front logged. b) He is so badly screwed, he is beyond the stage of despair... and is close to lunacy.
In Either case, one must be cautious when one sees a Facha smiling for too long... (It is absolutely acceptable when u have crossed over to become a Tucha )

So, I asked him - "What happened ?"
He showed me the most hideous sight ever to anybody re-writing a WAC report, 8 hours before submission. He showed me his completed WAC report- all neatly typed and stapled. For some reason, I felt sick and repulsed by his show of exhuberance.

So, without saying a word, and silently cursing him and all his future generations, I came to my room and sat down to restart my WAC.

Submission is scheduled at 12.30-1300 hrs.... It was 0314 in my watch.

After working for 6 hours on the trot, I managed to get done. Come hell, or high water or heaven, I am not editing a word any more!!!
It was then, that I discovered a few principles of report-writing
a) Errors will only become visible in a report after you have wasted 4 pages printing it.
b) A new error will be become apparent after your 2nd reprint.
c) The more you read your report, the more you will be tempted to edit/refine/polish it.
d) And lastly, for every 1 hour of writing, you will spend 10 minutes to run around searching for staplers without pins in them, pens that will empty out, replacing printer cartridges. The number of such idiotic things is directly proportional to how important that report is.

12:43 : I submitted my WAC...

There is a tradition at WIMWI- its called the WAC run . Students are often seen running with their WAC reports at 12.58.. rushing to submit before 12.59.59. Our ever-helpful Tuchas will often gather around putting road blocks in the way. Sometimes, they lock up poor unsuspecting fachas in their rooms and open the room only at 12.56 to see him dash out of the room to submit the report.... They say- You have not done justice to the WAC report if u have not run the WAC run.... I have no intentions of finding out.. Given my prior track records with deadlines, I will need a WAC miracle !!!

1300 - crash at my room.. doze off till 8 pm
12 in the night - RAMP party- to celebrate our first week at this place... and our first WAC...

It's a crazy life.. I tell you...

Class Participation

2008-07-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

I saw her... she was pretty... Suddenly, this place was not that bad..
The PGP office allots every student a particular seat in the classroom. The seat will have your name on it even before you attend your first class. This is the seat/place that you will adhere to for the rest of the year... Basically, you can't sit as you wish , or where you wish... You are confined to your seat for the next 10 months...
If you ask me why, for most hours of the day, I will say - cos it helps the Teaching/Academic Associates to assign grades.... However, for a few hours everyday, I believe that all this is an evil trick to prove that at IIMs, we do things so differently, that it becomes a different things altogether!!!... In my case...a bloody joke !!!

Anyways.. she was pretty..and she was going to sit next to me... Suddenly, I thought there was hope after all in this world ..
On the first day, we didn't talk much.. in fact we didn't talk at all...
Second day, I tried to overcome my emotions.. but nope.. still no talk...
Third day.. I really tried my best to talk to her ...I mean, I really focused on my controlling my emotions... but all in vain...
On the fourth day... I gave up...
You know why ? ... Cos the Girl just wouldn't stop talking in class!!!...
Welcome to the world of Class Participation... CP as it is fondly called..
CP is a concept that once upon a time, formed the cornerstone of Case Based study approach..
Today, it is basically the 10 % weightage that is given to students while evaluating a students performance...Do note, not all subjects give weightage to CP... Only a few subjects where the prof is a someone you don't want to mess with... or the when the subject is something you don't want to bother with .... often its both...
So, back to our heroine... This otherwise specimen, would just not understand that CP was limited to 10 % at the max!!.. and not all subjects needed a CP!!!... But noooo...she would just not stop... She would "like to add on the point made", or she would like to bring "another perspective that might have been overlooked" or she "believes that the class could concentrate another aspect of the case". She is consistent in the superfluous content of her CP, she is dedicated to the concept of CP all kinds - so you will have senseless,arbitrary, eccentric, global - all types of CPs coming out of her mouth and lastly - she is loyal to all subjects..So,even if the subject does not have CP marks, she will still be ready with her CP....
and I think " OH... MY.... LORD !!.... Heeeellllppppppp"

Now, most of you who know me- also know two facts about me
a) I usually finish my backlog of sleep IN CLASS...
b) I really like and I really mean it - I like talking to people...
Ever since, my existence has been the host to this unique organism...
a) I CANNOT SLEEP... cos the Prof is always looking here...
b) I CANNOT TALK to her or anybody for that matter....

90 places in the whole class.. and I get one of the two seats Bang next to her !!!... what are the odds??

This is my first painful lesson in Positioning... For no fault of mine, I will have to suffer the pains of someone else' sins.... Why is it a sin ? .. Well, participating in the class with a comment or two is one thing... but competing with the Prof for getting in more words - well, that plain criminal!!!...

The optimistic lining of positioning is I getting stuck in a lift with Warren Buffet for 45 minutes...
The other extreme is I getting stuck in same lift for 15 minutes with the girl I have just written about...

In the end, I believe that CP is the most effective weapon to destroy all people sitting besides you . As you stand there beaming that toothy smile of yours and others around you die. They die becuase of the exasperation since you started a discussion on elasticities of information 24 seconds before class is supposed to end !!!!....

Death to all CP makers...

First Day...

2008-06-25T12:53:00.001-07:00

Today was the first lecture at this Well-Known Institute of Management in Western India (WIMWI)… We were introduced to the case-study methodology of studying management.
The thing here is that students are given a case to read and are also given all the relevant theory needed to solve the case as deemed fit to the best of the student’s ability. The next day, you will have around 50-70 bright kids who would have prepared for the case. In Enters the Instructors/Profs who would have more knowledge about the case than all 70 kids put together.

It is not unlikely that very often the case we are studying is going to be discussed by the same Prof. who was the consultant to the company at that time…

The discussions are often intensive and the value-addition is entirely dependant on how much effort one has put in the case.. The Prof. will not give answers. He will make you think…and if you want to add something to the discussion, you have to be well-prepared…
Sample this –

Student: “ Sir, I believe that this biscuit-making company is making a loss because it is
not a house-hold name.”
Prof: “Ok..So ..if it was a house hold name, everyone will buy this biscuits…?”
Student: “Yes Sir…”
Prof: “Hmm… So according to you, since the Al-Qaeda is also a Household name, you
will also have thousands of people flocking to Al-Qaeda for recruitment!!!”

Life in Binary

2008-06-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

There is a system at Wimwi... it is a simple system...It functions in binary code..

If Submissions have to be made before 1.30 pm, it means exactly that...
1.30 and 01 seconds is not acceptable..

If classes begin at 8.45 am , you are welcome till 8.44 and 59 seconds...
Beyond this, you are pushing your luck..

You are either in time ...or you are late..
YOu are either in ..or you are not..
You have either passed... or you have failed..

In exams, your answers are either 100% correct.. or 100% wrong...

Nothing is considered grey...

You are either good...or you dont count...

This is the concept at IIM A... This is the system...

Sure, the system is not perfect.. But it works..and it works bloody well..
There is Zero-tolerance for being late... for being inefficient....or for your excuses...

I am getting increasingly worried about my well-being... You see, I thrive on excuses...add in my tendency to procrastinate, throw in my absolute disdain for punctuality and I am on a roll !!!...

So far, 2 alarms clocks, 3 friends from Mumbai with cell phones and one dorm-mate are intricately involved in ensuring that I wake up just in time to attend my classes...

Gawd!!! I am not liking it one bit...

Anyways, this is just the perfect recipe for my Misadventures... dont worry.. I will keep you guys posted...

..And dont worry...
At WIMWI, Everyone of us will count...!!!

Excel-lent

2008-06-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the computer centre right now...

It is 10.50 pm right now...

Under normal circumstances, I would have been sitting here for the love of Orkut, Youtube and associated time-pass browsing activities..

But noooooooooooo....
We are fachas in IIM A...
Trivial things like time pass is not for us mortals...

Me and the other 14 people sitting here are breaking our head on writing Excel programs that fall in that irritating realm of problems that just almost elude us...
Its like - sit here , look at the screen, look at the problem statement, look at the screen again, make faces at the screen, look around you and repeat the entire cycle...
It is like almost waiting for the solution to hit you... It been like that for the last 3 hrs !!!...

Everyday we have Computer classes at 11am to 1.30 pm and then 4.30 pm to 6.45 pm ... This is when we find out how much can we push our luck with Excel sheets... By the way, the timings are the official timings - that is when we have profs in class.. for the other 9-10 hrs , we try figuring out what the Profs were saying !!!...

Like all other things.. the prep class has its share of over-zealous characters who were earlier making a living out of writing these very programs at TCS,infy etc... Nothing wrong with them ..it is just the way, they will gloat over their Excel sheets... like some mama goose looking proudly at her gooslings..

These guys will complete the problem in 15-20 mins.. (This is the average time for normal people to UNDERSTAND what is happening in the problem...!!) Then, Mama Geese will flaunt their excel sheets - all replete with neat colour fonts graphs, and other 99 formatting tricks...

The conversations will go something like this
Me (Average Joe) : "This is one of those problems where we will first try to find the salaries of the employees and match them with their bonus incentives. Then somehow, get the highest paid employee and display his name..."

Enter HOT SHOT COMPUTER ENGINEER FROM HOT SHOT INSTITUTE AND WORKING AT HOT SHOT COMPANY USED TO WRITING HOT SHOT PROGRAMS
Hot Shot : "Duuuudddeee... You dotn have to bother with all that trouble. Just put a VLOOK on columns, using the INDEX and MATCH , get the columns and rows . Name your RANGES, and Put in a DSUM on the whole array with MAX condition on Salary Range and Display it... "

This is where Hot shot sees 7 people .. 4 with blank faces , 1 looking at the ceiling, and the other two looking bewildered beyond belief..as if they were just electrocuted or struck by lighting ...

It is kinda comical when such scenes unfold.. One guy will have all the gyan... and will try to explain to seven other people.. Usually two things happen
a) The enlighthened One while explaining the fundas , will lose his way...and lose his halo and become mortal again..
b) Seven ppl will think that they have understood the fundas, will solve the problem... next day, the prof. will ask 3 fundamental basic questions and we will end up back to SQUARE ONE...

I have to go now...
EXCEL-Lence awaits... and I want to play frisbee too... Waiting for others to come back from the movie...

The Prep Days..

2008-06-14T02:02:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 8 am today..

Had a lavish breakfast - Cornflakes, Lime Juice, Bananas, Omelette, Aaloo Parathas ..

Turned up for Maths class..

After a disturbing insight of things-to-come like Probability distributions Curves, 4 hours , one coffee break and 15 pages of written notes later, We were free ...

Headed straight to the nearest mall.. turns out Levi is having a sale of buy one-get one free!!..
So splurged as usual

Ahmedabad has decent malls.. there is no single international/national brand that is not represented here.. from Ruf-n-Tuf jeans to Exclusive BOSE boutiques... they have everything here...

Returned at 6 ... had a yummy double cheese chicken sandwich...
Then went to play Football... had fun...

The Footers here have this ritual here :- The team which allows the first goal to be scored, have to remove their shirts.. so it is a common sight to find fat, overweight guys running around bare chested, puffing , panting, yelling like small kids..

Post dinner.. we head to Dorm 9.. we play carom, table tennis or pool...depending on what is available... it is around 9.45 pm and we are just warming up...

Then comes the event of the day - FRISBEE..

A simple disk , 14-15 over-enthusiastic fachas , and a well-lit empty LK plaza... and we are ready for a game thats been played on this campus for generations... Frisbee..

The game is pretty similar to basket ball..
You have two sides of 7 players a side...
No player can run with the Frisbee in his/her hand,
No player can possess the Frisbee for more than 5 seconds
The objective is to pass the Frisbee and score.
If a player drops the Frisbee, the other team gets possession ..

Thats all...
The amount of fun , the commitment of all the players, the masti, the spirit.... Its unbelievable...
You will have fat lazy sloths diving around, you will find players arguing about the millimeters by which a goal was scored/missed... we played from 10 pm to 2 am, stopping only because the cramps were killing us...it was fun... real fun
and the best part of it all was the camaraderie... genuine bonding ...

And in the final analysis... I guess... most of us preppies, wont remember much about Poisson Distributions or Little's Law.... But the one thing that we will remember is the spirit of the 35 odd students who were lucky to be called a preppie... uh, sorry.. make that an IIMA Preppie...

P.S : Later, we saw the new Indiana Jones DVD...hehe!! yeah baby!!!

The Basic Principle of Fuchadom

2008-06-10T14:44:00.000-07:00

"Right now, you are like towels in a bucket filled with water...
Soon you will be squeezed ...and twisted...and stretched...and then the whole cycle will be repeated till you think you are at your limits....
And then..
you will be stretched once again ...and then once more..
But this time, you will prove that you are capable of working far beyond your perceived self-limits...
And that will be greatest learning you will take away from IIM-Ahmedabad..."

- Sidd (Yum Yum) - IIM A passout... currently one of the most prolific entrepreneurs in India...

People... and Interview Questions

2008-06-07T13:17:00.001-07:00

This is a typical setting one will find at IIM A..
You will find four people outside Cafe Tanstafl (CT)...

One of them is a Professional Wine Taster from Mumbai
Second guy is a serial entrepreneur from Delhi who has opened and closed 3 companies including a dotcom in the past 9 years
Third guy is a professional Event Coordinator from Dubai
And fourth one is a Agriculturalist from Kerala..

And people say that IIMs are filled with Engineers... ( Yeah Right!!..and Cows will fly)

Trust me, the last thing you will be asked is what have you studied.. No body is interested in where you are coming from .. They do rather know where you are going!!!...

So far I have come across a Doctor, a Sailor who travelled around the world and then gave it up to start a Apple Farmyard, a guy who made helicopters at Hindustan Aeronatics Limited , an editor from PricewaterhouseCoopers and lots of interesting personalities..

The Tuchas are yet to come back from their Summer internships. The remaning 200 Fachas will join ard the 20th June.. So I am expecting to bump into a lot many interesting characters...

One of the batchies was narrating his interview experience -
"Suppose there are 5 parachute jumpers in a plane. At an altitude of 14000 ft, they all think of jumping out of the plane. However, one of them changes his mind. How many jumpers were there in the plane at 14000 ft.. ?

"Sir, There will be five jumpers still in the plane... There is a difference between thinking of jumping, and actually jumping...!!"

I was impressed.. I had gotten it wrong... So thought of asking the same question to other batchmates.. I asked 14 guys and 2 girls...
16 of them got it right...

Damn!!!

So far So Food...

2008-06-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

Its been a week now at IIM A...

More than anything , it has been the food that has been impressive..
Sample this ..(no pun intended)
Ras malai on Monday
Hot n Sour Soup - Tuesday
Chocolate Pastries- Wed
Srikhand - Thur
Vanila Ice Cream and Gulab Jamun- Friday
Vadilal's fruit Paradise Ice Cream - Saturday
Sweet Corn Soup - Sunday

And this was only the dinner that I was talking about...

The Breakfast is another thing that impressed me - Everyday there is a special dish prepared in addition to the Lime Juice, Cornflakes and Bananas that are kept ...

All this happens in the Student's Mess... Right outside the Mess, is popular student hangout...
Cafe "There Ain't No Such Thing As Free Lunch" popularly condensed to Cafe TANSTAFL

At no point in the day, would you find this place empty... For most people, this is not just a cafe.. it is a live saving device... The Student Mess closes at 9 pm ... and trust me, you will be awake for a lot longer after that... and the only place for food at 3.46 in the middle of the night is Cafe TANSTAFL.... so you are better advised to respect this place...

I continue meeting different people... Today evening, all of us were sitting on the LKP ( This is the Luis Kahn Plaza- named after the Architect-Genuis who designed the IIM A campus..)

Met a batchmate limping..
"What happened?" I asked

"Bloody Football!!.. "..(note- This guy is a 5ft 10 inch guy, about 90 kilos, the chubby jovial kinds..)

"What about it?"

"Learnt a few lessons today-
a) Over enthusiasm for the game after a gap of 3 years is not a good thing..
b) Respect Gravity
c) Respect your Body and most importantly, your body's limitations.. And lastly
d) Trying a never attempted cycle kick without considering prior experience, gravity, and Body Mass is the most Stupid thing one can do on the Football field!!!! "

With this, he limped off, clutching his back while we all laughed our lungs out...

I hope I keep meeting such specimens... Its the people at IIM A , that makes this place IIM-A..

Architecture, Weather and Water...

2008-06-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

There are MBAs, and then there are IIMs and ..then there is IIM-A.

In the next few months, my life will change... along with me, there would around 250 others who too will share this experience.... We are PGP1.. the batch of IIM Ahmedabad 2010...

This is my story as it unfolds... The WIMWI reports...

I shall take try to make sense of the chaos that is ever prevalent here...

This year onwards , the syllabus is different... More on that -later..

Lets get this started..

The first thing that stikes one about IIM-A is the Architecture... (actually, it is the ridiculous heat and the humidity..but that kinda hits you at Ahmedabad station and remains with you all the time!)

The entire campus is divided into two parts - the old campus ( the one they show in magazine pics) and the New campus... There are 20 dorms in the old campus..and 8 new dorms in the new campus..

The entire IIM A is like a big city... it has schools, playgrounds, banks, tennis courts, fitness centres, gyms, residential blocks, offices , it has its own courier office!!

The first few days will go in exploring the campus, if the heat allows.. It is mindnumbingly hot and humid... so the heat will make you sweat...while the humidity will ensure that you remain sweaty all the time...
But trust me- I have not met a single person who has walked away unimpressed... This is the temple of learning..and the architecture never lets you forget that.. There is an awe when you look at these magnificent structures... It makes you WANT to come in...

The water here is queer... it tastes funny... Of course, a few ppl have no sense of taste ..and look at me when I tell them that the water tastes different.. They ask me - How would I know when water is tasteless to begin with??... duh...

The new campus rooms are bigger and more spacious... The old dorm rooms are more abt prestige and heritage...

Depending upon one's luck, one has to calculate the time taken to reach the classrooms... you would hate to be 7 minutes away ...esp when those 7 minutes could be used for sleep... more so when you know that for some people, classrooms are 30 seconds away!!...

I guess i have covered the architecture.. the weather...the water...
Next stop - the classes... the people... the return of Tuchas (second yearites..or the lucky people who had lost paradise...and regained it..)